If only I didn't have such a thick skull

On my last post I gave a very brief overview of who I am so I thought that this post I would give you a little bit more background as to why I started this blog. A few months ago I was nearing the end of my degree in social work and as per usual I was over loaded with the amount of things I was cramming into my life. I was doing a full time practicum for my degree, class work for the degree, working part-time and singing in a choir in Vancouver which meant lots of extra driving for rehearsals and concerts. Looking back on it, I was a walking disaster waiting for something large to occur which would force me onto a different track. Well, this significant thing happened one Saturday evening when I was working on my computer and I realized that I was unable to see properly out of my right eye. I didn't think much about it because I thought it might be an infection or a sinus cold but without the oozing and crusties, just a lot of pain. On Sunday I was speaking to a friend of mine who is a nurse and she encouraged me to get my eye checked out. Monday morning I called to see my regular doctor but he did not have any space to see me until Wednesday and that was too long to wait so I ended up going to a walk-in clinic. It was at this point that I started realizing that something was seriously wrong because when I went to do the eye chart I could not see anything out of my right eye, it was all white noise like on a TV when you don't get that channel. Thankfully I was able to get in to see an ophthamologist (an eye specialist) that afternoon. He did a check up and was able to tell me that I was experiencing optic neuritis (aka inflammation of my optic nerve) in the right eye. He told me that this could be indicative of MS, a brain tumour or possibly a random occurance which would heal itself in time. When he mentioned MS I told him of my history and how two years ago I lost feeling in my legs up to below the knees and how they had checked me for MS back then as well but had not come up with anything conclusive. So this is where my latest adventure began.
Since then I have been seeing specialists and have tests conducted all over the place. I had a head MRI done and at the end of June my neurologist called to let me know that I do have 4 or 5 lesions on my brain (anything over 3 lesions is usually diagnosed as MS) but that only one was very typical MS while the others are not. Over the past 5 weeks he has tried to do a lumbar puncture so that he could test the fluid but was unsuccessful due to a lower lumbar spinal fusion that I had about 9 years ago. So up to this point we have not been able to come to a conclusive answer as to whether I have MS or not. The next stage of the journey is meeting up with an MS neurologist at the MS clinic in Vancouver. The doctor's office called my house to set up an appointment over a week ago and it took me a week of deliberating and consulting with my friends who are health professionals as to whether I should pursue seeing this doctor and the consensus was that I should and so on Tuesday I called and am booked to see this guy in September.
This turn of events has been a big kick in the butt. It has forced me to stop and look at the lifestyle that I have been leading and to re-evaluate what I really want my life to look like. While this situation has caused me much pain and many tears, it has also allowed me a chance to make drastic, positive changes to my life. I just wish I didn't have such a thick skull so that it didn't take such dramatic experiences to get my attention.
While there are still days where the tears flow and it is hard to get out of bed, there are more days where I am encouraged to experience life to its fullest because I do not hold my life or my health in my hands and I do not know what tomorrow holds so I am going to try and extract as much joy, love and peace from the one that I do have.
I apologize for such a long post, hopefully the others will not be as long and intense but this gives you a better idea of what is propelling me forward to live my life to its fullest. May all of you experience a fullness of life today as well.